For those of you who read my last post you were privied to a pretty big announcement: we bought a house!
I promise you have never felt more like an adult than you do in the moment when you are sitting at the closing table - the shiny lacquered tabletop, mug full of logoed pens, a crystal dish of candy that creates a larger moral dilemma than you ever thought possible (cue inner dialogue: That candy looks fricken delicious. No, don't... a true adult homeowner would never eat a piece of candy in the middle of signing all these legal papers. The candy is probably here for the children of the adults who come to this office - knock it off. But, my mouth is so, so, incredibly dry. It's probably just the nerves. Can they change their mind and take the house away at this point? They probably will if you start putting candy in your mouth. Candy is my weakne.... Mrs. Van Dyke, please sign here, here, and here, and here, and here, oh and here, here, here, here, and here. Back to reality.)
See? Adulthood at it's finest.
But then, something weird happened. Almost instantly I realized how much of this "adult" thing I still needed to figure out. Apparently, owning a home is just the first step of adulthood; with it comes a whole slew of other adult-based decisions.
I have discovered that adulthood is a lot like that candy dish dilemma- constantly finding yourself in different situations that cause you to wonder what the hell am I supposed to do in this incident?!
Homeownership pretty much has just opened to my eyes to all the things I have no clue how to handle and all of the things I used to have a landlord do for me.
Thankfully for me, and all other people attempting to be adults, there is this life-changing tool that makes "adulting" a lot less of a strugglefest. This tool is constantly available, puts up with your dumb questions, and always has great, and semi-accurate advice - no, Dad I know what you're thinking, and it's not you. It's something much more powerful than even the most veteran parent...
Google!
Since owning a home I have become appallingly dependent on this little website, even more dependant than I am on our line of credit and Saturday trips to Home Depot... immediately turning to it with questions like "How to clean grout?", "Where is the pilot light?" and then almost instantly "How to light a pilot light?", "How to fix a broken deadbolt?" and the sorts.
So, I figured what better way to welcome my loyal readers into my newfound journey of adulthood than inviting you into one of the darkest, most vulnerable, exposed areas of my life: my weekly Google search history.
So, I present to you:
A place full of the seemingly obvious, yet embarrassingly difficult things I had to tackle this week via Google's guidance.
Week 1's almost-adult searches were (in a very, very particular order):
1. Does The Bachelor stream live? 2. Does Hulu play live TV? 3. Best Buys Near Me 4. HDTV Antenna
5. Getting rid of static on HDTV Antenna
So, this progression of Google Searches spanned over the course of the hours of 5:30 PM -7:30 PM on Monday night and anyone like me knows these are the hours leading up to, and during, the showing of The Bachelor (Season Premier mind you).
photo credit: www.christiantoday.com
Dilemma number 1 of being a homeowner: money is tight. When money is tight you start budgeting and cutting things. So, logically we cut cable simply because of the other magical inventions (they come in a close second to Google) of Netflix and Hulu. However... someone failed to remind me, when I was making this decision, that in a few short months after canceling cable I would need it again. Desperately. Because The Bachelor needs cable. Desperately.
You can almost sense the urgency of my Google searches as it gets closer to 7:00 PM. Frantic, frantic, frantic. Must get Bachelor. Hulu and Netflix were useless to me so I moved to option number 2 - going old school with an antenna.
Did anyone know that antennas still exist? Did anyone else know that there are some channels that are FREE with said antenna? Free I tell ya. And praise the sweet baby TV gods, Bachelor is on one of those channels!
Hallelujah!
I sent Brady on a wild antenna chase (hence "Best Buys Near Me" search) and I have never been so happy to see my man walk in the door with a piece of technology.
Boom. The hills are alive with the sound of cable...for approximately two seconds.
Here is the antenna-y thing about antennas. They kind of suck.
Case in point: apparently TV's connected to antennas do this weird thing called static? And static and suspense-filled shows like The Bachelor don't mix. ... "And the final rose goes to schhhhhschhhhhschhhhh". WHAT?!
I am sure you can empathize with my frustration - hence Google search number 5 above. Turns out, after several minutes of fidgeting with the antenna, the only real solutions to getting rid of static on an antenna are the following:
1. Have your extremely tall husband stand and put his hand on the antenna, acting as a human receiver. True story. I knew I married all 6'1" of him for a reason. I am pretty sure Brady spent the entire last hour of the show standing next to our TV being yelled at to "Hold still! It is going staticky again!" (And I wonder why he hates The Bachelor...)
2. Get cable (aka- be a fully functioning adult)
My oh, so patient antenna - err... I mean husband
So, until solution 2 happens I will continue to rely on my trusty pal Google to solve all of life's problems.
What ridiculous things did you have to Google this week? How have you relied on the internet lately to function as an adult? I would love to hear in the comments below... mainly so I just don't feel so inadequate. Haha!
Subscribe using the drop down menu above (mobile), or the sidebar on the right side of the screen (computer) to make sure you never miss another moment of Google dependency.
