I won't tell you where we went because that's not the point of this post... And I suppose degrading some small, independent restaurant on the Internet isn't quite right (but if you want to know, message me and I'll totally tell you where we were... just kidding... sort of).
Anyways, the waitress was NOT nice from the beginning. And I don't know why. We used our manners. We said thank you obsessively (Brady and I both are a bit of people pleasers so when we sense someone isn't a fan of Team Van Dyke we go into "like us" overdrive).
And to top it all off I was even wearing this adorable Boho Bandeau Headband I got as a gift. Look at how cute it is!
How can you be mean to a girl wearing this?! It practically screams "I'm fashionable, yet approachable. Let's be friends!" But, this lady did not want to be friends regardless of my adorable accessory.
And it really bothered me... all day. And even almost a week later, when I think back, it makes my heart sink a bit. I couldn't shake it and it got me wondering why did it spark this kind of reaction in me?
What does it matter if a random stranger, at a random hole-in-the-wall restaurant likes me?
But it did matter. It mattered for approximately 6 and a half hours that day. It mattered enough to ruin the delicious, dark cup of coffee she brought to me, enough to throw a wet blanket on the breakfast date I should've been enjoying with my studly husband (considering the fact that she received more of my brain activity than he did), it even continued to erk me while I was at Starbucks later that day (that rando cranky lady had enough control over my life to not only ruin my first cup of coffee of the day, but also my second cup, too. How rude!)
As I sat down to write, I really began diving into the heart of the issue and I discovered that's what the issue really is all about:
my heart. I have always been tender-hearted (some may argue a bit too tender-hearted... crying every time a Jana Kramer song comes on the radio or during inspirational movie trailers) and the sensitive status of my heart is fully to blame for my reaction to less-than-pleasant individuals.
I have spent a large majority of my life, being lead by my gentle heart, in the direction of trying to please every person I encounter - whether they are my dearest friend or an anonymous stranger who will never think of my presence again. It is exhausting- leaving me depleted and often disappointed. This disappointment drives questions like: "Am I enough?", "Why didn't she like me?", "Aren't I worth it?"
Seeing questions like that typed out is a bit painful, boldly vulnerable, and seemingly full of obvious answers (now in hindsight).
Of course I am enough - I am defined by something much bigger than a grouchy waitress.
It doesn't matter if she does or doesn't like me because she doesn't know me on a true level.
I am worth it to people who are worth it to me. Plain and simple.
So, today as I write about this experience, I reach out to all of you who stand in the people-pleasing corner with me. You are not broken, you are not overly-sensitive, and you are not too consumed. Your biggest plague is caring too much and that is a beautiful thing. So, without apology, I challenge myself and you to harness your sensitivity, your love, and your compassion and to continue to pour it out onto everyone you encounter... regardless of how they respond to it.
But remember, not all pleasing, has to be distributed evenly. Save the extra ounces of people-pleasing for those who are seeking
you out, who value what
you have to offer, and who desire to be the recipients of
your people-pleasing nature. All you can do is authentically put sensitivity, love, and compassion in the path of everyone you encounter; what they choose to do with it is solely their choice. It is out of your hands. It cannot, and should not, dictate your mood or control your outlook...and that, that, will take lots of practice. But, I am confident, if we commit to separating our people-pleasing nature from our life-contentment levels, we will find the person we please the most, is ourselves.
And, remember, nobody deserves the power to piss in your coffee (but it also doesn't hurt to avoid setting your coffee down in front of pissy people)!
|
Be sure to subscribe with your email (check the dropdown menu) to never miss another post! Or, get an even closer look via Instagram @jessvd324!|
