A MONTH? Seriously?
How depressing.
It feels like I just wrote my last post a few days ago - okay maybe a week ago, tops. But, alas, blogging timestamps don't lie. How has an entire month gone by? |On a side note, the fact that a month has flown by, is also terrifying to my teacher-self.... that means a whole month of summer break has flown by too and we are that much closer to the first day of school. That is a sensitive subject around here. So, moving on before I start to ugly cry...|
I know what you are are all thinking.
Why have you abandoned us, Jess? Don't you love us? Why are you robbing us of your wit and charm? Why are you treating us like your poor, dying houseplant that you forget about for weeks at a time and then overwater to make up for the neglect?
|You guys, STOP it. You are too sweet. Ok, well minus the houseplant comment... that was just uncalled for. It's not my fault that plants don't cry like babies do to let you know they have a need. They are basically asking to be forgotten.|
Ok, seriously though. The truth is for the last month... I have been resting.
Filling up my cup. Resting my soul. Binge Watching Netflix. Whatever you want to call it. |Semantics, shemantics|
And I know what you Judger McJudger Pants are thinking... Jess did you really need to rest for a WHOLE month? And the answer, if you were to ask me, is no. And the truth is... I didn't even want to rest for that long. But regardless of what I need/want there is this larger force that sometimes imposes itself onto us... life. And life, regardless of the plans I had, decided I was going to rest despite all of my good intentions not to.
 |
| pc: www.oprah.com |
I had a list of things I was going to get accomplished this summer. It was lengthy, it was lofty, and damn did it look good all typed out and shiny in this blog post here. Talk about accountability - sharing your massive Summer To Do List with the entire interwebs.
And I started off strong. Read about how un-restful I was here and definitely here.
I was proud of my constant "goingness" - I wore my busyness like a badge of honor.
But then, BAM, amidst my lists and projects, I got sick. Like really, really sick. And nothing halts a hustler's hustle quite like a two-week-long illness. Amirite? Or amirite?
It was like a mucus-filled freight truck hit me going 90 on the interstate and then, right as it was about to exit and go on with its commute, decided it would be hilarious to throw it in reverse and run me over again, and again, and again. Like some sick joke. |Ba dum cha!|
I was rendered utterly useless and voiceless |which Brady enjoyed waaaay too much for my liking|. I didn't as much shower, let alone cook a single meal for two whole weeks |which I enjoyed waaaay too much for Brady's liking|.
But here was the thing, even though my body had completely tapped out, I wouldn't. At least not mentally. I kept trying to get up to do things - tidy the house, disinfect our germ-infested home. It was actually killing me to just sit on the couch even though that was all my body was yearning for. I wish I was joking when I say that it literally got to the point that Brady would collapse onto me like a beached whale so I couldn't get off the couch. "JUST REST!" he would say to me.
There's that word again.
If you are anything like me |which, if you aren't completely annoyed by this blog (which I am assuming you're not since you've at least read this far) you probably have at least a few of my tendencies| the word "rest" is practically synonymous in your mind with another four letter word:
LAZY.
And if there is anything in this world I don't want to be associated with, it is laziness |well that, and being a Nickleback fan|. Being lazy, in my eyes, is wasting your talents and your time - both of which I believe to be precious and sacred.
So, naturally, I fought the rest and the "laziness". Heck, I even went white water rafting amidst my illness - which is way scarier when you have no voice, BTW. |More on those adventures to come in a later post, but look how cool we are! And that helmet/life jacket combo really hides my snot well, dontcha think? ;)|
 |
| pc: Maggie McShane |
I think that rafting trip was the cherry on top of my sicky sundae. Returning from that trip I was wiped in every sense of the word. I no longer had the desire to do anything productive because I was too sick and tired to desire any other sort of desire other than sleeping.
So that's what I did. For days and days. And then, once I finally got off the treadmill of life and gave my body rest, I got better. My bodily fluids stopped dripping out of every orifice of my body AND I got my voice back. |Victory!|
And then something magical happened... the perfect resting storm was created. Literally days after I got better I left for 2 back-to-back vacations - one to Iowa with Brady's family followed by one to Mexico with my family.
I had two more weeks, thanks to these vacations, of uninterrupted rest.
If combines |what's up, Iowa!| & champagne |oh hey, Mexico!| don't scream rest, I am not sure what does.
 |
| pc: Brady Van Dyke |
 |
| pc: Nikki Romero |
And now, I am back - feeling rejuvenated and ready to tackle the rest of summer.
I think this season of life taught me a few things that have helped change my perspective on resting |and maybe can change yours, too, if you are a restaphobic like me|:
1. You can only fight rest for so long
Our bodies are amazing machines - they are powerhouses of energy and vitality, until they are not. When your body, or mind for that matter, get into a funk it literally is your body telling you, a break is needed. And just like that non-verbal houseplant, your body has no way of audibly communicating with you that you are neglecting it. So, what does it do? It starts slowly shutting down in hopes that you will take a hint.
But, if you are stubborn like me, you keep pushing. Telling yourself - I am tougher than my body wants me to be. I am in control.
But if there is anything more stubborn than your willpower it is your body's ability to shut you down if it wants. We are at its mercy so, next time, when you start to get a small inkling that it is time to rest, embrace it. Because, I can promise you, the sooner you listen to your body the sooner you will be back in the game.
2. The world keeps spinning without you
This one was hard for me. I try to be everything to everyone. Not because anyone in my life puts that pressure on me, but because I put it on myself. Read about my struggle with perfectionism here. I try to keep our house running smoothly, our meals coordinated, and our lives organized. My fear with resting? All of that would fall apart.
How would my husband possibly feed himself |forgetting the fact that he kept himself alive for several years before meeting me|?? Someone might judge my wife abilities if they came to visit and the pretty throw pillows were replaced with Kleenexes strewn about |forgetting the fact that no one wanted to step foot into our germ incubator anyways AND that no one in my life judges me as harshly as I judge myself|.
I couldn't possibly rest because people NEEDED me. Hah. Sounds like my ego talking.
People like me, people are friends with me, and people enjoy spending time with me |I think- ha!| but, no one in my life is a helpless individual that cannot function without me, even if my perfectionism likes to make me think so. And much to my shock, after I got to feeling better, my house was still standing, my husband hadn't emaciated into skin and bones, and all of the throw pillows fit neatly back on the couch.
It is okay to wave the white flag. To relinquish some control and take care of yourself.
It was okay for me to rest because everything else in my life would be okay, too.
3. Rest makes your productivity more, well, productive
There is nothing like waking up in the morning with that kicking-butts, taking-names sort of attitude. The day ahead seems limitless and you have so much you know you can get accomplished. But that butt-kicking and name-taking can only happen if you are up to par.
So, I think it is time to swap out the mentality of rest = wasted time to one where we see rest as a way to recharge, making sure our time not spent resting is that much more efficient.
**
So, as we enter the weekend, I give myself permission to rest and I hope you do the same. Rest doesn't have to look like sitting on the couch watching reruns |but it can be, if that's your jam|. Try writing |Woo! look at me resting over here|, going for a walk, sitting at a local coffee shop, calling a friend just to talk. Whatever centers you and answers your body's cry for "calm" works just fine.
How do you relax best? Let me know in the comments below!
And remember:
 |
| pc: mckensiesmith.blogspot.co.at |
Cheesy, I know... but I had to. Happy Saturday!
Labels: Real Life, Reflections, Relaxation, Rest, Summer Vacation
