February 14th - a topic as polarizing as politics, the public education system, and if the toilet paper should be fed over or under the roll.
 |
| pc: flicker.com |
Some are Valentine's Day lovers.
Some are Valentine's Day haters.
And most are completely, and utterly, unaware of the apostrophe in Valentine's Day!!! |The day belongs to St. Valentine, hence the apostrophe. Ok... English Teacher rant over.|
As for my personal views on
politics: you never ask a woman her age, her weight, or her voting preference.
the public education system: read my post on that here!
toilet paper: over, always over. Even the cute cross-stitch I found on Pinterest agrees with me, and Pinterest never lies.
Valentine's Day: love it... sort of. Read on.
It doesn't take much common sense to understand why single people dislike Valentine's Day - no one likes being reminded of something others have that they don't |assuming they want a relationship|. It's like running on a treadmill while all of society enjoys a massive, calorie-free funnel cake right in front of you. No thanks.
It also doesn't take much common sense to understand why some people in a relationship also dislike Valentine's Day - often times it is a reminder of the fact that your significant other doesn't engage in romantic acts for you unless society tells them to. And when the romantic acts happen on this holiday they seem a bit generic and lacking a personal touch. The big shebang can feel a bit forced and contrived.
It also doesn't take much common sense to understand why other people in a relationship completely adore, head-over-heels love all of the glitz and glam of Valentine's Day. They love the hearts, and the 50 shades of red |ba-dum-ch|, and the fancy dinners. It feels like a special day where they can unashamedly display their love for all to see - their real life version of The Bachelor, if you will.
In my case, I feel like I fall somewhere in the middle of all of that. I am lucky enough to be in an amazing relationship with a mind-blowing man.
 |
| pc: Virginia Stiles Photography |
However, admittedly-so, Brady is not Mr. Suave. His love language is not romance - he demonstrates his love through acts of service, and admittedly-so, on my end, that took some getting used to. I didn't immediately see it as "love".
 |
| But, for real though, how is this NOT the best sight in the world? |
The hard thing, though, is that society doesn't really recognize acts of service as "Valentine's Day worthy". Instagram feeds aren't cluttered with "Oh look! My husband mowed the lawn! Happy Valentine's Day!" or, "Wow, my wife emptied the dishwasher! I love her and Valentine's Day!" Those sentiments are replaced with perfect flowers, glamorous jewelry, and swanky five star hotels. And if I am being honest, that is exactly what is hard about Valentine's Day for me.
That took some work to get over. And, honestly, the only way I could get over it was by turning away from social media, turning off the comparison game, squashing societal norms, and finding our own reasons to love the holiday. Because, after all, isn't this holiday all about the two of us?
So, this Valentine's Day we did exactly that! We made the day ours and it was great! And it wasn't anything like I saw on my news feed and that was great, too!
Join us on our Valentine's Day, won't ya?
I had plans to hang out with a dear friend and her adorable little one for brunch. So, ironically, our day of love started separately. Which was actually great because it allowed us both time to do things that brought us happiness: me - eating and Brady - working out. All was well in the world.
When I returned home from brunch Brady had cleaned the whole apartment - tidied up, ran the dishwasher, put away all his nursing school stuff, and had made the bed. It took a change in my perspective but- that was one of the best Valentine's Day gifts I could have ever received.
If I am being honest though, I hate that I had to change my perspective. I hate that a tinge of jealousy even crept into my gut, that I began comparing other women's gifts to mine, that my narrow-mindedness prevented me from seeing the gift right in front of me: the gift of a man who lovingly serves me every single day, even when there isn't a holiday "telling" him to do so.
After his kind gesture we headed to the Light Rail so we could utilize public transportation to get to the next stage of our adventure. This is another reason I love this man - he is so sensible. He encourages small things that save money, like taking public transportation, so we can spend the gas and parking money on going out to lunch, instead.
I have to admit, taking the Light Rail was fun - it made getting to our destination a little journey itself. I learned how to validate tickets and read the train schedule, too!
When we hopped off the train we were at the Denver Convention Center where the annual Home & Garden Show was going on.
One thing Brady loves is anything hands-on when it comes to home repair. The one biggest issue right now is - we don't have a home. Just our tiny little apartment. Only a minor setback, right?
 |
| I mean... look at how much dedication he put into picking out a plunger for our little place! |
Because of this Brady doesn't get many opportunities to satisfy his handy-man itch so, we figured the H&G Show would have to suffice for now. We had a great time wandering the booths and looking at all of the cool vendors. If you haven't been, it's pretty much like you walked into a real-life infomercial - cheese graters, vacuums, hot tubs, they've got it all.
However, after a few hours, and realizing there is only so much fun you can have at a Home & Garden show when you don't have a home or any money |thanks a lot nursing school tuition| we decided to leave. We wandered around downtown and stopped at Wynkoop Brewery for lunch.
We ordered the same thing for lunch |totally that couple...| and Brady got a beer that had been brewed with bull testicles. GROSS!! He's lucky I kissed him the rest of the day. :)
After lunch the Light Rail got us home quickly and we settled in to watch a movie. We actually agreed upon a romantic movie - a major feat, I tell you - One Day with Anne Hathaway.
 |
pc: www.rogerbert.com
|
It was a really cute movie, and seemed to fit our day perfectly, because it was all about a couple who didn't fit your "typical" mold.
WARNING:If you don't want to spoil the movie, don't read the next line.
But then Anne Hathaway dies. And it was really sad. And made for a really weird ending to our day.
Next up on the agenda was to make a yummy dinner - pork tenderloin, potatoes, green beans, fondue, the whole nine yards. I am not sure if it was the sad movie, the huge lunch we had ate, or the fact that at this point it was 8:30, but we both looked at each other and decided not a single bone in either of our bodies wanted to cook or do the dishes. |Wait a minute, I thought Brady's love language was acts of service; shouldn't he have WANTED to cook? Hehe - I guess long days of adventure can outweigh even the strongest servant's heart|
So, instead, Brady made us this for dinner...
Valentine's Day themed pb&j sandwiches. It was the perfect way to end the night.
As I look at that silly sandwich I realize how perfectly it mimics what Valentine's Day should be.
Regardless of your opinions of Valentine's Day, the goal should be to do whatever it is that makes you happy with someone that makes you happy |your boyfriend, your wife, your best friend, your mom|. Because, a single day spent doing something other than that is a day wasted, in my book.
That pb&j represented us on Valentine's Day and every day- it was simple, it was exactly what made us happy, it was an act of service, and it was full of love.
So, instead of using Valentine's Day to declare to the world "I am in a relationship/I am single/I have fancier gifts than you" let's use the day to declare "this is what love and happiness looks like to ME in my world" and then turn down the volume on whatever society has to say about it.
Hugs & -ish
Jess
Photo Credit: Virginia Stiles Photography // Check out her phenomenal photography, and all of the hilarious and authentic stories that go along with it, at her blog here!Labels: Holidays, Marriage & Love, Real Life, Reflections, Relationships
